Wedding Planning

These 9 Bridesmaid Pet Peeves Straight From The Knot Editors

On the other hand, with so many personalities being thrown together and expenses coming at you left and right, you never know what you’re going to get. Our relatable pet peeves will remind you that you’re definitely not alone. As editors of The Knot, we know better than anyone that being a bridesmaid can have its ups and downs. On one hand, you get to play an important role in the biggest day of your friend’s life.


“It can be stressful when the bride is super unorganized and just tells the bridesmaids that anything is fine. It’s great to be laid back—a ‘bridechilla’ is always better than a bridezilla. But there comes a certain point when the bridesmaids need a cohesive color and fabric, or the bride’s preferences on a bachelorette party over a bridal shower. Otherwise, it’s all guesswork and the stress is multiplied tenfold.” —Katie Kortebein, Research Assistant Editor


“My biggest pet peeve for sure is when bridesmaids make backhanded comments about how much money they’re spending in front of the bride: ‘I’ll be broke by the time this is over. Haha!’ or ‘I can’t go to dinner tonight—that bridesmaid dress sucked me dry! Haha.’ No, not funny. Bad joke. Don’t be rude.” —Andrea Fowler, Style Editorial Assistant


“When you already spend money on a bridesmaid dress, engagement party, bachelorette party, bridal shower, gifts and travel, it’s sort of a shock to have to pay for your own hair and makeup the day of the wedding. Your bridesmaids have gone above and beyond for you on your day, so make them feel special too by paying for their hair and makeup.” —Sarah Love, Associate Photo Editor


“Just stick to bridesmaids and forgo candlelighters or other honorary officiants, as you feel like an outsider from rest of bridal party. You don’t stand with them and you may have a special dress different from the rest of the party.” —Kellee Kratzer, Managing Editor


“Give her a plus-one. Between the cash she’s shelling out and the enthusiasm she’s maintained through bridesmaid dress shopping and envelope stuffing, she deserves it. You want your wedding to go down in history as the best day ever for everyone. Making sure she has an escort (even if they don’t live together/haven’t been dating for long/even if she’s single right now) will ensure she has a great time. Also, no one wants to blow all their vacation days and fun budget celebrating your life choice. If you’re having a destination wedding, opt for a local bachelorette party; if your family is hosting a few showers for you, only invite your girls to one. Don’t choose the most expensive dress (no one will wear it again—no one) and supplement financially where you can, like treating your girls to hair and makeup on the wedding day. And before you say, ‘But I did it for all of them,’ take the high road and set a new standard—baby showers are next.” —Lauren Kay, Senior Style Editor


“As a bride, don’t choose a bridesmaid dress style for your friends if you know full well the style isn’t flattering. Your bridesmaids are ultimately doing you a favor by dedicating their time and money to stand by your side, so return the favor by allowing them to choose from a wide range of dresses that cater to their varying needs and styles. For instance, I was a bridesmaid and we all wore strapless gowns, but some of us had cup sizes larger than a B—one girl was even an F. Not only was she literally spilling out of the gown, but she was so self-conscious (rightfully so) that she wore a wrap the entire night. In that instance, she should have been able to choose a style she felt comfortable in without feeling like guests were giving her the side-eye. Also, plan your time accordingly. I was in a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:30 p.m., but we were all up for hair and makeup at 6 a.m. Not only were we done getting ready by 11 a.m., but we had to wait around for three hours before photos. The best part: The bride was anti-mimosas. For the sake of your bridesmaids, at least provide us with a little bubbly and some much-needed bagels.” —Rachel Sylvester, Real Weddings Associate Editor


“My biggest pet peeve is being forced to wear the exact same shoes! Not everyone’s feet are the same shape, and we all favor certain heel heights, brands and styles. They might not be comfortable for dancing either. Also, never seeing the professional photos is another pet peeve. Since we’re in the shots, we want to see them and keep them for our memories too.” —Stephanie Cain, Real Weddings Editor


“If the bride wants you to get your hair and makeup done but doesn’t want to pay for it, that’s a huge no-no! If she’s not going to pay for it, she should realize that it’s up to you if you’d like to get it done or not—otherwise she has to be okay with DIY.” —Maria Bouselli, Senior Copy Editor


“Be conscious of how much your friends are spending. If you’re planning a destination bachelorette party or lavish shower, it’s probably best not to ask for gifts in addition to those splurge-worthy events. Or, if the cost of your bridesmaid dresses is a stretch for some of your girls, offer to pay for their hair and makeup. Remember: Your bridal party is there to celebrate and support you, but it shouldn’t cause them additional stress or force them into debt. Also, bachelorette party games involving embarrassing dares should be optional. If your friends don’t want to humiliate themselves in public, don’t push the issue. This should be a celebration of your friendship, not a chance to make your girls uncomfortable or cause a scene.” —Shelley Brown, Fashion and Beauty Associate Editor