Here are five wedding guests who might drive you crazy while planning your nuptials, plus the best ways to deal with them before they hijack your wedding day!
1. The Picky Bridesmaid
Guilty of: Complaining about the cost of every single event and refusing to wear anything that isn’t “her color.”
Our Advice: If she won’t budge on her dress opinions, it’s better to find her an alternative than to force her into something she’s not comfortable with. For a modest bridesmaid, make a strapless dress more conservative by incorporating a wrap, fun cardigan or vintage bolero jacket in a complementing shade. For a very specific bridesmaid, let her play up her favorite color or styles in a subtler way with jewelry, shoes or hair fascinators. And look on the bright side, compromising now will give you a little leverage when you serve as a bridesmaid in her wedding.
2. The Bossy Mother-in-Law (or Mother of the Bride)
Guilty of: Inviting people you haven’t approved for your guest list (as well as people she knows you don’t want to invite), judging your decisions and sticking her nose in every bit of the planning process.
Our Advice: Parents can be some of the worst wedding guest list offenders. Things can get even more complicated if they’re helping pay for the wedding. But it’s important and okay to say “no” to guest list additions and other style or organization suggestions (in a polite way, of course). These conversations are best dealt with face-to-face or over the phone—touchy subjects like the guest list can easily be misinterpreted over texts or email. Prepare for this tough conversation with facts about your budget and space limitations and your reasoning for the guest list you’ve chosen.
3. The Know-It-All Wedding Guest
Guilty of: Anything from saying you shouldn’t wear white because it’s too harsh with your skin tone, to registering for gifts with you (or wanting to do it for you!). Basically, she thinks it’s her day.
Our Advice: When wedding suggestions cross the line from helpful to aggravating, it’s time to redirect that input so you don’t end up arguing over something that seems significant now, but won’t be down the line. A good plan is to assign specific tasks to keep her busy but still involved, like helping you confirm orders with vendors or assembling favors.
4. The Overeager Wedding Guest
Guilty of: Barely knowing you, yet volunteering to help with everything, from ceremony music to DIY projects you never said you needed. They can also be found pressing you for wedding details before you’ve even thought about them (they’re just so excited). They mean well, but seriously need to relax.
Our Advice: You know that expression about too many cooks in the kitchen? Meet its wedding equivalent. Having a lot of people offer to help you plan sounds like a blessing, but when assistance comes from left field, it can feel like more of a hindrance. If you feel like someone’s eagerness is a bit more than you need, let them know how grateful you are for the offer, but you’re actually in great shape for planning, and if anything comes up that they can help with, you’ll let them know.
5. The My-Way-Or-the-Highway Wedding Guest
Refusing to come to your adults-only wedding unless you let them bring their children, or refusing to come unless you let them bring their plus-one—you know the drill.
Our Advice: A lot of couples choose not to invite kids to their wedding, but if you risk a boycott by some VIPs, consider a compromise. Offer to hire a babysitter and set up a private area with games, coloring books and a few comfy spots for little ones to crash on if the reception runs past their bedtimes. Your relatives might even offer to chip in once they see how accommodating you’re being, but if they don’t, the extra expense will be worth bypassing the drama of a fight with your new family. As for plus-ones, the best you can do is to have an honest conversation with them. Say it means the world to you to have them there and you wish you could include everyone’s significant others, but it’s really just a budget concern or a matter of keeping your day close friends and family only (or both).