Who came up with the word “Bridezilla”? C’mon, society—is that really fair? It’s tossed around left and right without any regard for the woman being labeled.
Imagine: You’re planning a party for over 150 people, you have a tight budget that can’t be surpassed, you have to look amazing, you have to make sure 10-15 other people look amazing, you need to provide delicious food and plenty of booze, you need to make sure two mothers are happy, all while adjusting to spending the rest of your life with one person.
Honestly, does that sound easy to you?
Since when has the term “bride” been synonymous with words like “bossy,” “overbearing,” “overdramatic,” and all-in-all “monsterous?” T.V. shows like Bridezillas and Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress have strengthened these bridal stereotypes, and movies like Bride Wars and Bridesmaids have given hilarious yet false representations of the planning process.
It’s time for these rules and stereotypes to be broken, and I’m taking the first swing.
Amazing photos by One:One Photography
21 Stereotypes About Brides that Must be Broken:
1. They’re bossy.
Obviously. They’re in charge—they have to be a little bossy! As my idol Amy Poehler explains so eloquently:
“I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me “bossy” is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.”
Dream weddings don’t plan themselves—they require a bossy bride.
2. They believe everything is about them.
It’s inevitable that the bride will be the center of attention at her wedding—they were designed that way. She has friends and family throwing her parties, all eyes on her while she walks down the aisle, and that fancy white dress doesn’t really fade into the background. But that doesn’t mean she thinks this day is just about her. A wedding is about the lifelong promise two people are making. She knows this or she wouldn’t have said “yes” in the first place.
3. They don’t care what the groom thinks.
Do you know a lot of guys who can’t wait to plan their big day? Yeah, me either. I’m sure they exist, but more often than not the groom is going to sit on the bench while his fiancé creates their dream day. She needs to get stuff done, and sometimes that requires executive decisions.
4. They’re emotional and overdramatic.
Correction: they’re stressed and in love.
5. They only want to talk about the wedding.
Sometimes, this one is true. One of my best friends is getting married this summer, and we spend a lot of time talking about her nuptials. But guess what I realized? I’m the one who’s bringing it up! We’ll be out for drinks and the first thing I say is, “What do the centerpieces look like?” or “Have you sent out the invites yet?” Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was the one sick of talking about it.
6. They have no time for anything else.
Yes, she’ll be busy. She has to meet with vendors on the weekends, go to bridal showers, schedule fittings, and work on DIY projects. But don’t assume she’s too busy for you! The woman is planning a party you’re invited to, so make sure you invite her out now and then.
7. They have to wear white.
I’ve been trying to kill this stereotype forever. Listen up: brides do not have to wear white. They don’t even have to wear ivory! Blush, blue, gold, silver, red…I could go on, but I think you get the point. Designers like Allure and Maggie Sottero are creating gorgeous colored wedding dresses that are just as bridal and beautiful as a traditional lace gown.
8. They’ve been planning their wedding since they were little.
Most of my engaged friends have only just started pinning and planning. They don’t know what they’re doing and they certainly haven’t had a picture in their head since age 8. Since trends are constantly changing, it’s nearly impossible to stick with one idea. In fact, my “dream day” has evolved into something I never would have expected since I started working at the Shoppe, and I guarantee it’ll continue to change and evolve until I become engaged and have to plan for real.
9. They’ll spaz out if they don’t get their way.
If you spent over one thousand dollars on peonies and got carnations, wouldn’t you be a bit peeved? If your caterer changed the menu or didn’t bring enough food to feed your guests, wouldn’t you be upset? When money is involved—no matter the occasion—mistakes can be costly and “spazzing” is often acceptable.
10. They’re spending their parents’ money without a care in the world.
Wasn’t the money a gift? I’m sure it was given to the couple with the assumption that the money would be spent. And I’m sure there were many thank-you’s and grateful words everyone else didn’t hear.
11. They think DIY=unique.
I think (at least I hope) that women using Pinterest to discover DIY projects aren’t under the impression that these ideas are “unique” anymore. They’ve been re-pinned 1,001 times, for goodness sake. DIY may not necessarily be unique, but it can be a money-saver and even fun!
12. They want to be a princess.
Ball gowns are on-trend and stunning, they are not a symbol of the girl’s undying desire to be a princess. So what if she wants a little attention and TLC on her wedding day? She deserves it after all the work she put in!
13. They’re on a diet.
Sometimes, this is true. But not all brides are trying to lose 20 pounds before the big day. Don’t assume she wants kale salad and fruit served at her showers and parties. Buffalo wings and beer may be exactly what she’s craving.
14. They’re too opinionated.
Again, opinions are sort of a necessity. If she doesn’t know what she wants, then her vendors, family, and friends don’t know what to give her! Believe me, you’d rather have a bride who knows what she wants than one who replies “I don’t care” to every question.
15. They love planning.
Plenty of people do not love the process. By the time it’s all over, they’re ready to go on their honeymoon and never look at another budget spreadsheet or binder again.
16. They have to have a MOH.
They don’t even have to have bridesmaids! If they can’t single out one of their wonderful friends or they simply don’t want a traditional party, then why not forgo the MOH? If their best friend is a guy, they can even have a bridesman stand beside them. They come in handy, actually >>
17. Everyone has to be there.
On average, the cost/guest can be $75-100. If the couple doesn’t want to invite that random friend from high school or give everyone a plus-one, that is their decision. They’re not being exclusive, they’re being budget-conscious.
18. They expect guests to spend a fortune on them.
Weddings are always going to be expensive for guests. Between gifts, attire, taxis, hotels, and an array of other small details, the cost to be a guest adds up. Just remember that one day the couple will be guests at your nuptials. What goes around, comes around…
19. They’ll control how their ‘maids look down to the nail polish.
A lack of control is actually on-trend when it comes to bridal parties. Mix-and-match bridesmaid dresses, wildflower bouquets, nude shoes of their choosing—asking for clear nail polish is OK when the rest is a free-for-all.
20. They can’t see the groom before the ceremony.
Some of my favorite photographs are taken during the first-look. The emotions felt in that moment will never be matched, so why not capture them? Excitement, nervousness, true love…One look can show it all. Get the groom to cry and you’ve hit the jackpot.
21. They want everything to be perfect.
I think we’re all aware that perfection is unattainable. There’s no crime in wanting things to turn out a certain way, for those dreams to become a reality. Strive for perfection, sure, but I think every girl just hopes the day ends with an “I do.”
What bridal stereotypes are you determined to break?
Don’t get me wrong, there are some pretty crazy brides out there. But more often than not, there is solid reasoning behind those moments of “crazy.” Try to give your friend, sister, or fiancé a break. Better yet, help them out! It takes a village to plan a wedding—and to keep the Bridezillas at bay.
You may also enjoy…
- How to Bond with Your Future Sister-in-Law
- 21 Reasons Your Maid of Honor is Actually Your Soulmate
- 25 Lies Brides Tell Themselves While Wedding Planning